Sunday, July 2, 2017

Eliana Is 1!

Dear Eliana,

     I didn't want to write the traditional Happy Birthday type of post so instead I decided I would write you this letter and hope to write you one each year. How are you 1 already? Where did an entire year go? For what will seem like a long time in your life time will seem to go by slowly and then one day it speeds up and it never slows down. The day you were born was magical because it changed me for the better. As I looked down at you cradled in my arms it was like time stood still. You were so beautiful, even more beautiful than I ever imagined you were going to be. At that moment I hated that we made the commitment to move to Oklahoma because I knew it meant I was going to miss so much. You have no idea how much you are my motivation, my push, my drive.

    My life hasn't always been pretty, I have made lots of mistakes but something opened a year ago that I haven't ever told anyone. I looked at you wrapped up in that blanket and I instantly knew it was my job to be for you what I wasn't to my own children. I was going to work hard so that you never had to know what it was like to go without anything. I wanted to be able to be a role model to you as a woman and as a grandmother, to be the one to take you on adventures and vacations, to bake cookies and let you eat all the things your mom doesn't let you have at your house. Every day when I get up I remind myself that I go to school for you, for your aunts, for your mom because we come from a family of strong women. You come from a family of strong women on both sides of your family.
   I want so much for you in this life. I want you to be exposed to many things, to see so much, to experience all the good this life has to offer. I want you to grow up and truly know that you can be anything you want to be no matter what life might throw in the way. I want you to know how strong and beautiful you are. I love that you stand your ground when you want something or when you are upset, I love how much you show your love to Baby Noah because your heart is so big and most of all I want you to know that you are loved. There were times in my life where I wondered if anyone loved me and no matter where I was, no matter what I was doing, I always knew that my own nanny loved me more than anything and I pray that you will always know just how much I love you.

   One day I am going to move back home to Texas so I can be there all the time for you and Baby Noah. I am going to be the crazy grandma who cheers at your soccer games or have the cheers memorized as you cheer on the sidelines. I will support you always. Eliana, I will never be able to truly put into words what you mean to me but know that you are my reason for everything I have done for the last year. Happy birthday sweet baby girl! I cannot wait to see you at your birthday party next week!